I Wanna Be Famous – Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers – 10/23/18

 

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Copyright Jodi McKinney

People think we fish are dummies, but in truth we are some of the smartest creatures around. Really, think about it, where do humans go to relax? The ocean, lake or river. They like to play in the water, just like me!

But you know I am not satisfied to make laps here in my aquarium. I want to see the world like that little fish Nemo. He is so famous you see him everywhere. He is on television, movie screens, backpacks, lunch boxes, t-shirts, you name it. I need to figure out how he did it. But first I need to find a translator, because most people just see bubbles when I talk!

 

 



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Missing a Thing or Two – Sunday Photo Fiction – 10/21/18

If you aren’t from America you may not understand this, but there is a series of insurance commercials where a funny scene is played before the spokesman delivers his trademark tag line. I tried to imagine one that didn’t go so smoothly.

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“But Mister, how did they get the skeletons out of the chair if the man and woman were there when the tree fell? If the tree was actually laying across them shouldn’t we see their skeletons?”

The tall, slender spokesman for the insurance company had been reticent when his producer floated the idea of inserting a child into the mix for their newest commercial. All the previous incarnations the adult in the commercial opposite the spokesperson never speaks.

“Every classic commercial, the ones people talk about forever has this cute kid in them,” his producer said waving his hands as if he was creating this artistic scene.

Now the reality was that his eight year old boy had some questions he wanted answered.

The spokesman looked at his producer who smiled broadly, knowing this was going to be golden.

“We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two,” the spokesman said, delivering his trademark line.

“But mister, you didn’t answer my question. I want to see the skeletons!”


 


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Money Names the Project – Friday Fictioneers – 10/19/18

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PHOTO PROMPT © Jilly Funelli

 

“Okay folks, this is the one. This advertising campaign could put us over the top! Let’s hear your pitches!”

The six employees gazed at the 560 foot tall tower as their minds began to work.

“It looks like a beater from my mum’s blender,” Arthur remarked.

“We can’t sell that!” Jillian barked.

“The White Sail!” Liam announced.

“Silly Boy! Spinnaker is a type of sail!” Wyatt snapped.

“The Glittering Bow,” Charlotte crowed, thinking of the night time view.

“Maybe two campaigns,” Boss Sam reasoned.

An old woman, listening from the start said, “No wonder they let the money provider choose it!”

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Me Gonna Be Tarzan – Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers – 10/16/18

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For so many folks a movie character opens up a new world with so many possible ways to re-invent your hum drum, boring life. For Everett Huffington it was swinging on a vine, or rope in his case. Far from the jungle, he had to retrofit his adventure to his environment. Four unsuccessful day time attempts meant he had to make his move under the cover of darkness to ascend to the tallest structure in his small world.

Now, in the full view of a horde of media and several of his fellow townsfolk Everett, clad in his leopard skin one-piece exercise attire perched on the raised bridge over Alligator Bay waiting for his moment. He would wait for the bridge to reach it’s apex before plunging downward on the trusty rope to give his best Tarzan-like yell.

 



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Dude Speak – Sunday Photo Fiction – 10/14/18

Photo copyright- C.E. Ayr

“DUDE! Ya gotta help me!” Evan nearly shouted.

“What’s wrong? Chuck asked.

Evan checked to make sure no one else was in ear shot before he begin to explain the need.

“Dude, I can’t find my ring. I think it may be in that,” Evan said pointing to the debris pile in front of the home they had nearly finished renovating.

“DUDE!” Chuck replied loudly.

“I KNOW!” Evan said.

“It was because of her?” Chuck asked.

Evan looked at him with an expression that confirmed his guilt.

“Dude, how long are you going to try to convince her you are single?”

“If I can’t find my ring I may not have to,” Evan groaned.

“Look, I get it. She comes out here every day in those overall shorts and her pony tail bouncing from that hat and the way she can handle any power tool, but man you are married. What would Cassie say?”

“If you help me find it we won’t have to find out, will we?”

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The Leaning Tower of Mockingbird Lane – Friday Fictioneers – 10/12/18

 

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Grumbling was heard from two locales, 33 Mockingbird Lane and 35 Mockingbird Lane. A sturdy iron fence clearly defined the boundary between the properites, yet disagreement was a daily if not hourly thing.

But now there was the leaning tower of Mockingbird Lane.

“It is not leaning,” Rucker announced.

“Is too!” Cramer shouted. He then produced a large construction square and slid it against the base of the structure.

“Oh my square, thank you very much,” Rucker said jerking it away.

“Wait, you need to see how it leans,” Cramer boomed.

“That old square’s off by 12 degrees.”

“Nearly as much as you!”

 

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The Lion War – Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers – 10/09/18

FFFAW100918.jpg Wars start for any number of reasons: border disputes, assassinations, invasions, surprise attacks and more. But this latest one was over something rather innocuous: An orange traffic barrel with a winged lion stenciled on the top. Had the figure been another creature the alarm bells may have never sounded.

Professor J.B. Honeycutt could never have known his misadventure with his Backwards Flying Machine would cause the ripple that projected this barrel into the wrong place at a very wrong time. He had the smarts to make the flux capacitor from Back to the Future a reality, almost. In truth the reality was his date actuator was off, by a whopping 23%. But Honeycutt could not know that, because he never returned to the present to check the calibration.

On one of his first trips he displaced the offending barrel and the rest was a terrible chapter in history.

 

 



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Bella’s Smile – Sunday Photo Fiction – 10/07/18

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This was the place, the one where his world changed forever. It was early on a Spring day that he crossed paths with an angel. An angel named Bella. This far removed from that encounter her reputation in his mind was flawless. He would even swear to seeing a bright light on her head making him think her an actual angel.

Bella was the youngest of a brood of six. Five older brothers, all six -footers worked the docks with their father Nunzio. None of them felt like Derrick was good enough for their baby sister. He was a musician for heaven’s sake! How could he give her the future she deserved? No, this was not the right man for their princess.

But when Derrick’s fingers tickled the ivories Bella danced and sang so beautifully he would take on all of Europe for the honor of having her for his wife. Bella was more practical, suggesting they steal away for a wedding and then there would be no choice for her family but to accept the union.

Derrick checked his watch for the umpteenth time and saw she was tardy by fifteen minutes now. If she arrived at all it meant she’d had trouble. Bella was early to everything and he’d expected to see here here first.

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A Different Shell Game – Friday Fictioneers – 10/05/18

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Photo copyright – Sandra Crook

Liam brought five friends this time. None believed his words. But here they sat, watching his grandmother, blind as she was, fingering the shells and describing each one as if she saw them.

Benny stepped forward and grabbed one she already named and asked her to try again.

She smiled, looked off as if peering into her memory and named it again.

“Okay, pay up!” Liam said as they filed out shaking heads.

Moments later Liam returned as his grandmother peeled the opaque contacts from her eyes.

“How much?” she asked.

“Seven-fifty for you and seven-fifty for me, the suckers!”

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